she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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