He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
