Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
