I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
