Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he fucked my hip out of place.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize