we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
