so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
