So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
