Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No subtext here. People are naked.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
