Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
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