Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize