He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
