i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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