your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i dont even know how to be here
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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