I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i drank out of a bidet.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
