AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
