I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
