just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
