i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize