Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize