I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
