make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
