I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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