My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
