Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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