Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
