White coat. Heels.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I am midnight drunk by noon
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize