Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
