well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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