I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize