The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
