I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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