Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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