Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
