Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
