hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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