he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
