Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
