So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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