I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
