But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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