There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
