just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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