I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
