Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
