I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
