Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
