out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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