Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize
