$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
