We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
