the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
