we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
