He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
