thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
