I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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