Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just cropdusted the office
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
