When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize